Weddings.
- Peter O'Malley
- May 30
- 2 min read
Updated: May 31
"Sorry I am late. I did not want to come" would be the byline.
I have not set up comments yet; you so this is a rhetorical question.
What event is designed so that no one leaves happier a week later than they were the week before?
All my friends are on their second, some on their third, weddings, and it is that season.I get the invites.I am happy that you think of me. I am happy for the couple that has decided to share their happiness with me. I am happy that all of the vendors get to charge 3x what they normally would.
Me selling an event: We offer you a tasting of our chef's menu:
Primo dish, preplated salads with heirloom and farm-fresh ingredients.Gently drizzled with the chef's award-winning sauce.
Seocondi, your choice of the following:
Our prized cut of filet mignon, topped with the chef's award-winning sauce; paired with a fresh-caught and handmade Maryland crab cake; luscious buttery whipped potatoes, topped with approximately 3 swigs of freshly grilled organic-grown asparagus; and seasonal sautéed vegetables will add color to the palate. Bon appétit.
Pescetarian, no problem:
Our chef's keen eye will select the most perfect filet of branzino, lightly salted and then broiled to perfection.Served on a bed of imported rice with the chef's award-winning sauce.
Vegan:
Prepare yourself for the chef's selection of diced cardboard boxes, with tomatoes cut really fantastically.The dish is served with the chef's award-winning sauce.
Alright, the first two were me reading an Outback/Carabas/Bonefish face value menu with a $30 price cap."Bronzino," by the way, is just a fancy way to say "sea bass."And most of Maryland's crab meat comes from Indonesia or Venezuela. It could be a Marylander shaping it and breading it (white bread and JO seasoning for me, I will settle for saltines), but it still did not come out of the Bay.
Again, just a thought as we enter wedding season. Is it worth it? We all are happy for you. Is it worth emptying your wallet and having all of us do the same just to come and pretend to be happy for four hours?
I guess I will keep doing it because it is "family tradition." 4 hours is all it takes.Tell them the tab is on my last name; they will say he has not been in here in decades, just depart slowly.
Comments